5 Considerations when a Homeschool Schedule is Just Paper

Blessed are the flexible, for they’ll never be bent out of shape.  

At least, that’s what I’ve heard.

I pride myself on spending gargantuan amounts of time each summer planning our school days–selecting curriculum, thinking through a workable schedule, ordering my own workload in order to take advantage of peaks and valleys in each child’s day, etc.   Although we have a problem with consistent interruptions (hubby’s travel schedule, which sometimes means a midday trip to the car rental agency or the airport, forgetting that one household item needed for a science project, our days have flowed seamlessly for the last several years–until this year.

Though by a homeschooler’s definition, I don’t have a big family, I am at a point where the age split between siblings means that I have one who is slowly, in baby steps, leaving our home, and one who is just beginning to settle into a “big girl” routine.   Our son is somewhere in between, thankfully flourishing in his ability to work independently.   Add to that my single parent-like state while hubby’s often on the road, and you have what I consider to be a mess.

Here is our daily schedule as it has been for this semester:

~ 8-ish:  Wake up the oldest (the kids insist on using “their” bathroom, so oldest wakes up son once she leaves the bathroom at ~8:45-9–she really enjoys the bathroom)

~9-ish:   older kids are downstairs for breakfast while I finish tie-ing up loose ends (including computer time)

~9:30:    I wake up the youngest

~9:30-1 p.m., Tues., Thurs., and Fri.:   the kids are somewhere between breakfast and school work, with the youngest taking a break after a couple of subjects

~11:45-2 p.m., Mon. and Weds.:   taking the oldest to college, plus travel time.

~1 p.m. (or after returning home) – 4 p.m.: lunch and school

On paper, we look great.   The problem is, more often than I care to admit, we aren’t finished at four; we just have to quit in order for the kids to meet their evening commitments–mostly dance commitments.   This leaves us reading often at 9 p.m. or later, after the kids have returned home and debriefed about their class, who was in it, what they did, what everyone said, blah, blah, blah.   The funny part of this debrief is that, at least with my older two, they are in the same classes, with one exception!   To hear them, you’d think they went to two separate studios!

There is value in nighttime reading.   Sally Clarkson of I Take Joy and my homeschooling “bible,”  Educating the Whole-Hearted Child, lists as a part of her schedule having a family time to read both during the day and in the evenings.   When I began homeschooling with a 3rd grader and a kindergartner, we read in the evenings as an integral part of our day.   It kept, and still keeps, the kids from running toward the television.   However, now the reading feels more like a chore, or a bullet to check off on a to-do list.   Not the content of the reading, mind you, but the act of getting everyone to put aside their other activities, momentarily stop all the discussions that seem so critical at the time, and focus in on a book seems like a Herculean effort on all parts.   Of course, the fact that I’m generally winding down at this hour (mentally, if not physically) doesn’t help, and I’m sure my attitude passes down through the kids when it’s time to gather together at night.

What to do?   The part of me that is inflexible in terms of school and requirements (laid down primarily by moi, of course) has to step aside and let a less structured sister take over.   Ugh.   

Here are some thoughts that have crossed my mind as I navigate these waters:

1) Pray.   Always pray, in this case about priorities (who says I need to do all of this “stuff,” and if not this stuff, what stuff am I supposed to do right now?).   Philippians 4:6 is one passage that shows us the appropriate attitude to have as we seek answers from the Father.   If the worst of my home education issues is that I cannot juggle well a daughter who is between home and college, a husband who’s working (albeit far away), and the other assignments God has given me, I am blessed. 

2) Re-evaluate my pockets of free time.  Free time looks very different now than it looked even last semester, and that’s a part of the frustration.   Just as I developed a flow, the semester line-up changed, and now the oldest doesn’t have to be in class until 12 noon–too late to forego school altogether, but early enough that it disrupts the flow of the day, especially for the youngest.   But when I looked at it, Mondays and Thursdays are great days for grading, and I will perhaps change the schedule of the youngest as well so that I don’t return home with that 2:30 p.m. feeling and still have half the day left with her, plus reading to/ with the older two.

 3) Re-frame my thinking about reading at night.   As I said, this isn’t so bad, especially right now while I have little or no class load.   In keeping with #1 listed above, who is to say that these adjustments aren’t happening so that I can get back to where we started several years ago?   As I stated earlier, reading with them is a time of coziness and family intimacy for us, and for the youngest, time away from plugged-in recreation, and away from some of the mischief that increasingly finds her idle hands.

4)  Get the kids informed and involved.   After sharing my concern with the family during our prayer time, the kids came up with a couple of good ideas.  Listening to them helped me realize how much I needed their understanding and buy-in to make the necessary adjustments.   As one example of the shape of things to come, I will speak/ be a vendor at 3 conferences in April.  Add travel time to that, and we are basically here two days of any given week.   I loved hearing them say that we should take off in April and then school in June.  

5) Seek the wisdom of those who’ve been there, done that,and now own the t-shirt.   My blog buddy Dawn is a very special mom to some very special kids.   From her posts, I gather she spends as much time schooling at the doctors’ offices as she perhaps does at home.   I was able to draw from that, and now we pack books and school while waiting for the oldest, either in the car or at the nearby city library.   It was the wisdom of a couple of friends who’ve learned to go with the flow of life rather than attempt to swim upstream (as I do) that made me think about taking an extended spring break to meet travel demands and use the summer to educate, when it’s too hot to be outdoors anyway.   I really stopped to take in the moment when the kids suggested it.   It wasn’t too long ago when I suggested such a schedule and the kids balked vehemently at the thought that they’d be “trapped” inside when their public school peers were free to roam.   I guess we’re all growing up.

Oh, Yeah, About THAT Shirt…

Have you ever seen someone’s outfit, whether a inappropriate choice of clothing, or strangely-colored shoes, or even a hair-do that looks more like a hair-don’t, and you wondered what was the story behind their choice?

I have a number of younger friends on my Facebook  page.  Many are our children’s classmates at the dance center.   I also have several former or current students from Sunday School class.   Out of this special group of youngsters, I have adopted—in my heart, at least—two sons, Zach and E___. E___ now has a Facebook profile picture of himself, a beautifully sketched drawing of him in a T-shirt with a simple message:

F@*!   U

 

I am sure some who pass my page are dumbfounded, if not royally offended, and that, more than once, another friend has asked, “Why would she have a friend who would wear that shirt?!!”   Who knows?   I might have unknowingly been judged, too, for fostering that friendship.

The truth is that E____ was once a Sunday school student in our class.   I’ve talked on more than one occasion about our class of kids with a set of realities that would crush many adults.    These kids are 12, 13, 14, and 15 years of age.   Yet, over the years, we have worked through and  prayed over at least one who found herself in an alternative school after a weapons charge, and a host of student-to-student and teacher-to-student interactions that have gone awry.    We also have been a welcome respite for a group of boys whom Child Protective Services individually removed from homes, only to place them collectively in a foster home where they were sorely mistreated.  My two “sons” were the last two to leave that home, taken away by CPS after some revelation of what they endured while there.    Zach was moved to another foster home; I am not totally certain of his level of care, but I am in contact with him periodically, and we spent a brief period of time (less than 30 minutes) with him on his most recent birthday.

The wearer of this T-shirt, E___, is our other son.  Right before he was moved out of that home, and consequently has no way to get to our church, he told of us the circumstances that resulted in his placement in the child protective process.   He was born into a home where abuse was the norm, and his father, along with other men, were in and out of the home.   As a very small child, he witnessed his father beat his younger sister to death.   By the time he was 10 or 11, E___ was involved in the drugs, both selling and using.   Not long after that, he was sent from home to home.   Somewhere on that path, E___ found Christ, and it saved him from murder and/or suicide.

If my story ended there, it would be wonderful.   But, having left his last foster home, E___ is now back with his birth mother.   He’s also flirting with drugs again, and discouraged by where his life is currently–hence, the T-shirt.    The message, I feel safe in saying, symbolizes his rage.    My heart simply breaks for him, and we stay in prayer.   I also continue to believe God for him, even when God seems far away to him.    I believe that one day that garment will be shed, and the new one will appear that reflects his sorrow being turned into gladness.   I anticipate that day with my whole heart.

In the meantime, E___’s shirt has taught me a valuable lesson about judgment.   In a more Phariseean day, I would have shunned such a friendship that reflected poorly on me and my oh-so-righteous self.  After all, my friends see him in that outfit!   But knowing E___’s story, I can appreciate that he’s seen more of the dark side of life than most of us ever will.   I applaud him, and moreover, the Christ in him, that he’s not in jail, or strung out on prescriptive medications (though “weed” isn’t the answer, either).   He’s one that the church would turn away because of his appearance, and we turn many others away for similar reasons.   That’s worth repentance, because even while we were yet sinners, the Lord loved us.   As for me, I’m learning, through him, not to be so quick to roll my eyes at those who don’t outwardly measure up to my standard; there may be a story there of which I’m totally unaware.   I’m learning to call on the Father more on behalf of those situations and people whom I don’t understand, rather than assume that I know things.   Yep, I’m learning…

God bless you, dear friends.

 

Living Intentionally–Passion versus Distraction

(If the idea of “living intentionally” appeals to you, feel free to link up with us at Internet Cafe Devotions).

 

 

I should be asleep.   I have a long day today, beginning with an early morning worship service as my husband and I attempt to divide and conquer several agenda items ahead of us today.   After laying awake and filling my head for a couple of hours with all sorts of fantastical thoughts, it occurred to me to find something more productive to do with my time.    So, I began my circle of prayer, which led me to think about why it took me so long to get to that place of communication with the Father.   The simple answer is that my random ponderings were much more fun, albeit irrelevant.

One of the biggest detractors to accomplishing what God assigns to us–that item that we are most passionate about–is not always a lack of money.   Wisdom, with the click of a mouse or a cell phone, is often available, and encouragement might be little, but still present.   I am convinced that the biggest detractor is simply our uncanny knack to fill up time and space with other mindless pursuits but produce no fruit.    We procrastinate; we get distracted.    And like most waywardness, distraction begins in the mind  before it manifests itself in our state of being.   The impact of this, at least for me, is a moment, hours later, when I feel as if I have accomplished little or nothing, or I can’t connect the small dots of accomplishment into the bigger picture of why I chose that action in the first place.

God’s Word over our thoughts is to cast down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ  (2nd Corinthians 10:5).   It is a high standard, but it keeps our minds focused on Him and the work that He has called us to complete.   Whether that work is a book, a presentation, or loads of dirty clothes or dishes, we are guaranteed that, as we abide in Him and He in us, we will bear much fruit.   Apart from Him, we can do nothing.   (John 15:5)

So as I move forward in this year, the task for me is not to define my passion, but instead, to confront all the distractions that block the way.    How about you?    How many hours do you spend in what Stephen Covey refers to as non-urgent, unimportant activities?   As women of purpose and plan, we really don’t have time to waste.   Too much is at stake in our homes, in our churches, and in our communities.   Ladies, we’ve got work to do.

Personally, this is my heart’s plea:

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalms 139: 23-24

‘Wicked,’ in this sense, doesn’t only imply evil or impure in nature.   One of the definitions of ‘wicked’ is unjustifiable.   As I pursue my passions, I want the Lord to remove from me those thoughts, those words, and those activities that are unjustifiable.   Be blessed, friends.

If I Could Only Get Them to Think

Have you ever noticed the wealth of information available to a home educator of a young child versus the relative dearth of educational topics geaed toward older children?   I thought to do my small part to close the gap in my recent Heart of the Matter article, “If I Could Only Get Them to Think…”   You can read more here.