What’s this Whole “Natural Hair Thing” About, Anyway?

I was thrilled when my young friend Elora asked me to write this article for her blog, Puellae Naturali Oasis , or rather, the Natural Girls’ Oasis.   For those who are interested in a more concise summary of why I decided to transition from my perm to my natural hair, enjoy.

 

BTW, here’s a shot of me with our son, sporting a twist-out with my most recent cut.   The oldest maneuvered the scissors–a fact in which she’s quite proud.    I think she did a fantastic job, yes?

 

 

My Natural Hair Journey, Chapter 5: Chh-Ching!!

At this point, I could write a small post on what people don’t tell you about transitioning back to your natural hair.   Lesson 1: it is not cheap from the standpoint of either time nor money.   

For 30 years, my routine for hair care involved a 6-8 week chemical straightening of my roots (commonly called a perm), then a weekly wash and condition, with a heat-laden finish (blow-drying and flat-ironing).   

Now my routine involves everyone in my family and everything but the kitchen sink.    Correction: sometimes even the kitchen sink is involved. 

Before:

After (avocado, honey, olive oil, and other sundry items not included):

The perm was $60, with tip.   Having eliminated those, I’m saving about $500 a year.   If I’m not careful, I’ll spend every dime of it on natural hair products.

There are less expensive ways to make this adjustment for sure, but I’m discovering that my hair journey really is an extension of what is happening to me personally.   I’m committing to long-term health and wholeness with a vengeance as I embrace middle age (did I just say that?!)

What that has meant to me is a HUGE investment of time–to learn what works for others, and, through much trial and error, find what works for me.     And here’s the kicker: while learning what works for me, I’m also having to learn what works for our two girls, who have two different hair textures (more on that below).      

 There is also a financial investment required.   It is not hard at all to become a product junkie as I move through both sucessful and failed experiments, and redefining what healthy hair means to me personally.     I have enough of various oils in this house to have squeezed every fruit and nut known to man.  Olive.  Shea.   Almond.  Jojoba.   Coconut.   And I have the audacity to walk into GNC looking lustfully at the grapeseed.    Also, that’s just the oils!    It doesn’t include my vegetable glycerin, the aloe vera gel, and the wish list, otherwise known as the I’m-going-to-buy-this-after-my-hair-is-all-natural list.   It’s no wonder that the hair boards often refer to Whole Foods Market as the “Whole Check” Market.   Hilarious.

Having said that, I’ve also had to back up from my  anti-store-bought-hair-products radicalism.    I got started on this kick when  a fellow homeschooler said of herself and her infant daughter, “We don’t put anything in our hair that we can’t eat.”    Though our son has cracked numerous jokes about that comment, it made such sense to me.   What’s on your head soaks into your skin just like a lotion or other body product.  So I totally abandoned what I’d done for years.   I then realized (after a couple of failed experiments) that  there are store-bought products that work wonderfully well, especially on the oldest’s 3C tresses.     Her hair loves Pantene’s Deep Moisturizing Treatment and Garnier Fructis Leave-In Conditioner.   I switched from the petrolatum-based product I used for years for moisture and found that jojoba oil suits her just fine.

 

 

This is the youngest’s curl pattern, taken as I was twisting her hair.    You can see the hair as it looks wet on the right-hand side of this photo.

 

I think our youngest daughter’s curl pattern is closest to mine.  

 

 

What does my hair love?   Honey (just a small taste to avoid stickiness) and coconut oil.   So here’s my hair regimen as of right now:

 Cost of co-wash 1-2x a week with Oyin Handmade Honey Hemp Conditioner that doubles as a leave-in: ($18 for 16 oz. bottle)

Cost of  moisturizing with coconut oil, or a shea butter/oil souffle with light shea butter every other night:  ($13 for coconut oil, initial cost for ingredients for shea butter souffle, $60 (however, everything except the $12 shea butter is used in tsps, so it lasts forever)

Cost of  deep conditioning monthly with a homemade mix of avocado, honey, and olive oil: ($9-10 initially, but only have to repurchase the <$1 avocado after that) 

Cost of the oldest saying, “Mom, I’ve never seen you with this much hair before!”:  priceless.

From the simple to the crazy, and some thoughts in between

When I began writing this on Saturday, I had a very simple agenda.    I wanted to focus on getting out one set of grades and the Sunday School lesson.   With that done, on Sunday I could focus on the oldest’s prom dress.  BUT…the kids danced on Friday night—late, like midnight—at a local outdoor event.    (Sorry about the picture quality; the lights were so bright everywhere, and these were with my cell phone).

 

After enjoying their performances, I returned home and crashed into bed.   Me and my mesquite-smoke-scented hair.    So, this morning, I prepared to wash my hair.   But instead of the braid-out that I’ve grown so accustomed to, I decided to go with 2-stranded twists.   After all, I need to keep my hands away from my hair a bit.   Right now, my hands are always in it—touching my new growth, checking for moisture, etc.   Lord, please don’t let my hair become an idol. 

Anyway, once I decided to twist my hair, I realized I was missing my shea butter soufflé (to moisturize my hair and hold the twists).  Down to the kitchen I go.   Once I got my soufflé mixed, I came back to wash my hair.   The twists took hours, so I was happy that the kids slept away the morning.    Once they got up, there were breakfast pancakes to cook—at noon.

Now with breakfast and hair out of the way, I needed to start a pot of chili for the evening meal, but had run out of chili powder.   My husband was okay with going to get more, so I started to get my computer and begin the grading process.   But first, I’d get a quick picture of my hair in its newest style.   As I turned the corner to get the camera, I walked by the youngest’s room.    I didn’t take the time to give it the pick-up that it needed (she should do that, right?!), but she can’t make the bunk beds just yet, so I climbed the ladder and got it done.    Then it was picture time.    I tried in the bathroom mirror, I tried with different cameras, but I could not get the right picture.    Finally I had my son take it.    I’ll hold on to the end result so that I’ll have something to show regarding progress later on.

With the picture taken, I again prepared to sit at the computer.   But I couldn’t possibly sit down at a computer without folding the clothes that have been next to the sofa for a couple of days now.   So, I folded clothes and started the pot of chili that I should have begun hours ago.   

So, nine hours after I set out to do so, I’m finally beginning to evaluate assignments and assign grades.   Does anyone else have this type of day?

When I’m not trying to unravel my plans into something that I can actually execute (which is all too often), I’ve been thinking.  It’s almost time for summer, and I’m late on my own schedule for next year’s planning, so my mind has been on books. 

 The oldest and I have been reading through Dante’s Inferno.   This book is considered an almost exact portrayal of medieval beliefs on the Christian faith.   In reading it, though, it occurs to me that the themes are similar, even in modern beliefs about life after death.    I’ve read similar portrayals in Mary Kay Baxter’s Divine Revelation of Hell. 

Led by the great author Virgil, Dante is escorted through Hell after he has fallen off the path of righteousness.    It is the hope of a demi-goddess that by showing Dante the eternal fate of those who do not walk with God, he will then seek to be restored.    So the trip begins, and so does my pondering.

One of the first groups of people that he meets are the peers of Virgil, called the Virtuous Pagans, whose lifetime precedes the rise of the Christian faith.    These men, and more specifically, their words, were considered great contributors to society—Homer, Horace, Ovid–but they didn’t know the Father.   Thus, their penalty in hell is simply that they dwelt there, with no hope of ascending to Heaven.    I never thought, as we are reading through history, what happens to those who lived before Jesus walked the face of this earth?   Are they given a chance at salvation?

Dante’s travels continue.   He descends further and further into hell, and the reader sees how creatively the punishments are crafted to fit the crime.    It is all too reminiscent of how we lift up some sins as if to say, “If those people follow 2 Chronicles 7:14, the rest of us would be alright.”     Is punishment in hell based upon what specific sins we commit in life?   I’ve never my taught my children this, either here or my children in Sunday School class.    I’ve taught them that all sins need repentance; without repentance, we will not meet our heavenly Father.    I’ve taught them that we are not perfect beings, but our quest is to strive to be more like Christ with each day, and to never forget, regardless of where life takes them, of His grace and mercy.     Nazi POW camp survivor Corrie Ten Boom said it best: there is no place that man so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.

Is hell the multi-storied chasm where we are punished according to our deeds here on earth?   I pray to God that I never find out.    However, I embrace the book for what its message was intended to make me do—think.    And I’m thankful that whatever the vessel that the Lord chooses to use, we are reminded once again of the need of a resurrected Saviour.   Thank YOU sooooo much.

My Natural Hair Journey, Chapter 4: On Being Transformed

 If you want to lose weight and keep it off,  fad diets and sweat suits won’t do it; you must change the way you think about eating and exercise.

When you get serious about being debt-free, you can’t keep credit cards surrounded by a block of ice in the freezer or buried in the backyard; you must re-think the terms needs vs. wants, and liablilities vs. assets.

Ridding myself of my chemically straightened hair and allowing God’s plan A for me to manifest itself isn’t as simple, for a variety of reasons, as just going perm-free and then cutting it at some point in the future.    I have to rid myself of what others say about me and transform my thinking about what God sees as beautiful in me.

Be not conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.   Then you will be able to test what is the will of God–His good, pleasing and perfect will.                                                                  Romans 12:2

In my last chapter, I talked about what Earl Graves described as the code, i.e., an unwritten set of rules that conform our appearance to that of the mainstream around us.      Soon after that, I read a very in-your-face article on  Nappturality.com entitled “Natural Hair is Professional, Are You?”

The ladies at Nappturality have an attitude.   I mean that in a good way.    Their declaration on their home page includes the following statement:

‘If you are still relaxing your hair you are welcome here, however be warned…We don’t debate the wonders of relaxing and we don’t talk about the benefits of chemical or heat straightening on Nappturality because frankly, there aren’t any benefits to using high heat or that caustic chemical. There are other ways to show your length without such damaging practices. But we all had to start our journeys somewhere…Just be aware that those of us here who are napptural are committed to being napptural and spreading the word of nappturality.  We don’t like relaxers.    And we don’t sugarcoat that fact.’

Admittedly, I’m not there yet.    I’m still looking in my rear view mirror on some days after waking up to all the uncertainties of my transitioning hair–should I have put something on it last night, how much was too much, is it time to do something else, etc.     But I get the point.    I have to change my way of thinking about what is beautiful about hair, and I have to do something that life experiences have trained me not to do: think of my natural hair as something beautiful.    After subjecting my hair to heat and later, to sodium hydroxide, beginning at about age 7, I must become increasingly comfortable with terms like ‘kinky,’ and ‘curly,’ and perhaps even ‘nappy.’     I must learn to view my God-given waviness as something other than a sign to schedule an appointment at the salon.

Where does all that negative, stinking thinking come from?   The easier question would be where doesn’t it come from.    Even on natural hair boards, it becomes quickly obvious that, even amongst the liberated, Afro-wearing (or something else like it) minority, there is something better about having longer hair.    Add to that the fact that my hairline says I’m growing older wiser, and the support simply dwindles.    It amazes me that our society considers a man with salt-and-pepper strands distinguished, but a woman is encouraged to run, not walk, for a bottle of dye.   I can remember my oldest sister–16 years my senior–giving me a hard time about my gray hairline, saying that she’d have no sisters that look older than she does.   Now, bless her heart, she has enough health challenges that a few gray strands are the least of her worries.

 There are hair classification systems out there designed to help you with understanding your hair type and what products help you take care of it.    Most notable is that of Andre Walker, former Oprah Winfrey stylist and Emmy award winner.    His descriptors for my hair type include the following:

• wiry (correction: very wiry)
• fragile (correction: very, very fragile)
• fine/thin to wiry/coarse
• lots and lots of strands densely packed together
• known to shrink up to 75% of the actual hair length

Who’d get excited about growing a head full of that?   In his defense (not that he needs my help), his use of adjectives on other hair types isn’t much more encouraging.    I prefer to think of my ability to manage my coif  in a more empowering way, even if I don’t know exactly what that looks like yet. 

Having said all of that, here is my 2-textured hair.    You can see the wavier/ curlier new growth at the scalp line, and then my chemically straightened hair attached to it.    These pictures were taken in February, so I’ll probably take more in April simply to see if there is a substantial difference.   At any rate, I don’t consider it wiryor nappy.    I’m loving it more each day, and often find myself running my fingers along the waves. 

Here’s a close-up (too close, maybe?):

It occurs to me as I draft this that I’ve put more “work-in-progress”  pictures of myself on this blog in the last three months than I’ve put on here in the last 4-1/2  years!   I’ve placed most of my transition pictures to date on Facebook, for the eyes of friends only.   I’m still experimenting with what to share and where, but as long as people are getting something out of these posts, I’ll continue to share them here.   

This was the result of my first two-stranded twist-out.

I’ve seen this style on others and I love it, but mine is definitely a rough draft.     One of the problems is that my relaxed hair is ‘thin and fine,’ a term I loathe, but that I’ve had to reckon with after an extended use of generic products years ago left a good bit of my hair in the trash can.     I am thinking that I’ll try this style once again after several months, when more of my new growth has come, and my hair should be thicker.   I will say, though, that for the 1-1/2 weeks that I wore my hair in this style, I enjoyed not having to sleep in hair rollers.   Boy, has that been an adjustment from the ponytail I once wore to bed.

These are my youngest daughter’s two-stranded twists (not taken down).    I envision that mine will look this way next year.     Funny, when I tried this style on her years ago, her hair was much shorter, and it was before I went to school, so to speak, regarding natural hair care.   The result was short, dry-looking ”puffs,” and I swore off the two-stranded twist for her hair and reserved it for my older daughter, whose hair is more naturally curly.    This time as I progressed with her twists, I was shocked at how much longer her hair was,  and how well her twists stayed in place for a week (in spite of the fact that a night scarf comes off her head within 5 minutes of falling asleep).

I love how much she loves this style.   Moreso, I loved hearing her tell her Sunday School teachers when asked about it, “I’m going natural.”   Hilarious, since she’s always had her natural hair.    She picked up that phrase from hearing me say it, but I’m thrilled that she’ll never have to detoxicate from a way of thinking that lends itself to dyed, fried hair.    She already knows that God’s creation in her is beautiful.