First Week of Summer

If I had it to do all over again, I would have taken last week off completely from school and then begin on tomorrow after the holiday.    I can always tell when my mind is spinning, and the product of that level of angst and confusion usually isn’t good.    Yet, I was so determined to not waste our summer by sleeping late and staying plugged in all day until I had the kids in books the next day after our official school year “ended.”    The result was that neither the kids nor I felt as if we’d truly ended anything, and the youngest, with all the boldness of a child’s unbridled tongue, let me know it.   “When do we get a break??!!”   

This is sooooo not the way that I want to school during our summer downtime.     So I began explaining that school wouldn’t look exactly as it did during the year, but the true proof in the proverbial pudding was when I began to relax and not pressure them with getting up at a certain time, getting this and that done, and taking away from the fun of life (like time with Dad) in order to complete said page.    Lesson learned.    Moreover, once I did relax, I was able to think through what I wanted the kids to accomplish during the summer–more on that later.

When we weren’t around the table, we were unusually busy for almost the whole week.   It went by in such a blur until I almost can’t remember it.    I spent 2-3 days washing and pressing hair in preparation for team pictures on this past Friday.   I’m hoping against all hope to make the flat-ironing last until time for the dance recital on next weekend.    That process of straightening the girls’ hair is so labor-intensive for me until I almost dread doing it.    I think the ill feelings were compounded once I began to embrace our natural hair; I now fully realize what I’m doing to their tresses by applying that much heat.

I found out Thursday that a dear friend went home to be with the Lord after an extended battle with breast cancer that eventually spread throughout her body.   She was a mentor to our oldest daughter and to me, truth be told; we “adopted” the grandsons she parented as the brothers our son never had.    I know she’s in a better place, and cancer-free with the Lord, but I sure do miss her. 

Saturday we spent at a wedding during the day.   A dear friend married a 2nd time after a long and prayerful season of waiting on a Godly man.    The season was more stressful due to a teenage daughter that, at least from the natural eye, seemed to turn away from everything she was destined by God to be.   It’d been a tough road for this woman of God, and my heart rejoiced to see her happy and radiantly in love.

Saturday evening we were blessed with a rich Word from Bishop T.D. Jakes while he was in town.     Luke 15: 1-8 leaped off the page for me as the Bishop delivered a life-changing message about recession, resurgence, and remaining.   Wow.

My husband loved me enough to give me a much-needed break on Sunday morning, and he taught our Sunday School class by himself, bless his heart.   I felt bad about leaving him with a class that is still establishing its personality with us (ha ha), partly because I wanted to see the lesson!     He performed a couple of magic tricks as a lead-in to the story of Simon the magician, and how we, like Simon, can crave the power of the Holy Spirit (or just church presence) for all the wrong reasons.   The class was small, but well engaged in the lesson, from what I’m told.     This group of kids is markedly different from previous classes we’ve had because of their candor.   There’s one thing I can say about them: right or wrong, you never have to guess what they’re thinking. 

Somewhat well rested, I hussled to get everyone ready for an evening event put on by the local chapter of the NAACP.    During April, the oldest competed in their academic olympic event (ACT-SO) in Earth Science, and Sunday evening was the presentation of awards.     She had returned from April’s competition with a message of doom and gloom about how she fared with the judges, so I had no reason to believe that she would place.     That said, man!    Was I overjoyed when she was announced as the silver (2nd place) award winner!     We couldn’t have been more proud.

Incidentally, it’s odd to see myself with my “poofy” braid-out–a combination of hair that needed washing and the Texas humidity.   Who is that woman with my daughter?!   (But, let’s not make this about me–smile).    Here she is with Dad, and then with friends who also participated in this year’s competition. 

Today, Memorial Day, was a day of semi-rest once again after having a well-traveled, eventful weekend.   Whew!    My in-laws joined us for Cajun fare–crawfish boudin and blackened tilapia.    Good times with family and great food.

Believe it or not, I actually did, somewhere in the midst of all this activity, get to settle my mind and think about what I want to do with the kids this summer.   In short:

• We will work on 3 days/ week.
• The youngest: read together and work  on math and handwriting all 3 days, with grammar added on one day and science on another.
• Our son: read together, make sure he continues with “free” reading times, and complete math on all 3 days.
• The oldest: help her adjust to college English, read together, and complete math on 3 days.

I will not get in the way of informal studies masterly inactivity, as Miss Mason would say, with my own agenda.

I will not plan the fun out of summer for the sake of completing academic work.

I will get some things done (like scrapbooking and sewing) that I’ve wanted to complete for forever.   That means I will relax.

Pray for me, saints.   God bless.

Repost: The Bullard Family Constitution

I originally published this post two years ago when our kids were completing American History.  In the midst of a chaotic 2-3 weeks, I happened to glance upon the refrigerator and see a hard copy of the document they produced below.   So I thought to repost this entry, if only to remind myself of the potential of our home, maybe…perhaps…one day…

It’s all too rare, but precious, that we get to see how our homes would function if our children ruled it.   But I had this experience a few days back.   We’ve been discussing over the last week or more the writing of the Constitution–the debate and dissension, the decisions not to sign it, and the reality of what it took for these men to endure a grueling Philadelphia summer to pen our foundation as a country.   On one day, our son said, “History inspires me to do so many things.”   (the necessary lead-in to get Mom curious and excited about the upcoming idea).   He then began to talk about how he got involved in the stock market after our discussion on the Great Depression.   (True, true.   So what’s up?)   “I think I’m going to write a constitution for our family, because I don’t like some things that are happening around here.”    My first inclination was to stop this effort before it got started, thinking that these new family “rules” would be beyond silly.   For sure the kids would list that they could stay up as late as they wanted, allowances would be doubled, etc.   However, I went along out of curiosity, and admittedly, the ‘history being inspiring’ comment worked; I fell for it hook, line, and sinker, and only needed to be reeled in.   He got started and the oldest one jumped in, perhaps to be sure that no rules got past her.   At any rate, I was floored and thrilled at the same time.     Mom and Dad ratified their draft over the weekend (comments in italicized teal).   I tried to write it just as they penned it.

Bullard Family Constitution

 

Room Rules

1. Everyone must knock on each other’s doors, especially bathroom doors.
2. With parent permission you may move furniture.
3. Ask before you take TV remote.
4. Cut off lights when you leave.
5. Leave room like you found it.
6. Respect private time.

 

School Rules:

1. Do not be annoying.
2. If you finish early comment but don’t brag.
3. Come ready to learn.
   1. Head is up and eyes are open
   2. Narrations occur accurately after 1 reading
   3. Questions are based on not understanding rather than not listening
   4. Work is completed in a timely fashion
   5. Bring a good attitude
4. Respect other’s area.
5. Ask for pencils.
6. If 1 person is annoyed they may move.  If more, the annoyer may move.

 

Friends/Family Rules:

1. Be nice to guests.
2. Do what guests want as long as you are allowed to.
3. Make sure their needs are met.
4. Make sure restricted areas aren’t seen by guest unless permitted.
5. Work out debates without parent help.
6. Everyone takes part in cleaning.
7. Love each other according to 1 Corinthians 13.
8. Show each other much grace and mercy.

 

Car Rules:

1. Take turns in front and 3^rd rows.
2. 2^nd row may control air.
3. Empty trash as you get out.

 

Kitchen Rules:

1. If you make a mess, CLEAN IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Feet stay on the floor.

 

Amendments (added by Dad):

1. Wear your shoes when the car is outside (the garage, that is).

Using Social Media

My husband made an observation some months back while trying to send me an online article for later reading: it is hard to just send someone an article anymore.    The assumption is that everyone has a Twitter and/or Facebook account.    So, very recently, he bit the proverbial bullet and became a Twitter enrollee.    After a few weeks of orientation/ experimentation, he and I recently had a conversation that went something like this:

Hubby: “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.   I can’t get anyone to respond to me!”

Me: “Well, who are you following?”

Hubby lists the few people/ organizations that he follows.

Me: “It looks like you’re following people who don’t tweet that much, or people who only tweet as PR for their jobs.   You might have to back up and just find people who share your same interests, and people who actually tweet.    You might search according to your hobbies or…”

I felt funny advising him as to how to find people and make friends (?) via social networking.    I’m very much a novice, and there’s much that I need to learn.    Initially hesitant, if not outright suspicious, of social media, it took me a while to embrace these tools—and I do mean tools—as being potentially effective.    I never had a MySpace account.    I’ve made conscious decisions not to join Linked In; I don’t “Digg” anything, nor do I “Stumble Upon” anything.    At this point, I am strictly a blog/Facebook/ Twitter person.    

I’ll confess that, when first introduced to Twitter, I didn’t contemplate getting involved that much.    I signed up for it somewhat by accident, but was hooked after seeing how I could quickly keep up with a friend and/or family member or two.   It took me a while to pick up the art of stating something about myself in 140 characters, and then making it entertaining enough for people to actually appreciate it and respond.     It took a bit more time for me to extend myself past people that I knew and learn how to seek out people that had my same interests.

Facebook I gave a lot more thought to before signing up.     I’d heard so much about the privacy issues, and there are some concerns.   I grow concerned each time I sign onto CNN.com and see the articles that my friends recommended: how does CNN know who my Facebook friends are?     I grow concerned when students say to me, “I looked you up on Facebook…”    It’s an invasion of my privacy, as far as I’m concerned, and it makes me wary about employers and others who look and make judgments.

Another point of confusion for me was that no one could tell me how their Facebook account differed that much from their blog.   By that time, I’d put so much energy into developing my blog, and I thought that one more social network would take me totally away from those items that I consider to be more about purpose.   I decided, slowly but surely, to give Facebook a try after several friends in small business endeavors convinced me that I was missing out from a business standpoint by not getting on board.

I probably put more way more thought into all of this than was necessary.   Everything doesn’t have to be a heady exercise in reflection, or is it a life-and-death decision regarding typing a few lines about what’s going in your life.   “Tweeting” and mini-blogging (which I consider Facebook to be) can be fun, efficient, and in its own way relaxing.   I get that.    In fact, I played around in the early stages of watching the Superbowl, tweeting about all my observations.    One of my followers later pointed out that Christina Aguilera’s botching of the lyrics to the National Anthem got more press than the latest news from Cairo (‘good to know we have our priorities straight,’ she posts).    She’s right, but hey, it was funny for the time that I stayed online, and I needed the respite as I watched my Steelers go down for the count.    But in order to be a good steward of the time God gives me, I debated internally, and rather seriously, how I might use all of this to my advantage without becoming a slave to any of it.    I know people who spend a significant portion of their day on Facebook, or blogging, or on some other point of connectivity via the web.   I know some who pay outrageous phone bills just to stay in touch with it all.   I know the amount of time that it takes me to craft a blog entry, which is the reason that I only post, at most, twice weekly.    I just choose to do something different with the time I have.

So, at the end of the day, how do I use social media networks?

Blogging—still my favorite of all the ways to connect over the Internet, I pen my heart and mind in the hopes of ministering to others like me, making real connections, and allowing my customers to meet the person behind the products.

Facebook—FB is great for linking with friends and family and sharing photos and quick pics of life as it exists here.  Its major function for me, however, is to share short stories and links that interest me, to find out more about my FB friends, and to jot down thoughts and happenings that don’t necessarily warrant an extensive blog entry.

Twitter—Twitter is what it is—140 characters to very quickly say what you are doing right now.   For one who talks to herself quite a bit, this is a neat way to get some of those random thoughts down in one spot, and where else can you meet amazing business connections by telling someone how absolutely uneventful your life really is :-)?

Recently in her 31 Days of Blog Ministry, Amy Bayliss posted about blog purpose and niche, and suggested reading Hebrews 13 as a place of prayer and seeking God about your blog’s purpose.    This was a blog-changing, if not a life-changing, exercise for me.    For some strange reason, I didn’t like my blog being labeled as a “marriage and family” blog, as one reader referred to it; I wanted to be something more.    But as I read through Hebrews 13, it began to resonate with me that marriage and family are high callings, and viewing the writing of them as boring was a rejection of the gifts and blessings I’ve been given.    If I can eloquently depict a house where God is first and foremost, where peace exists and health and wholeness reign in spite of all that isn’t here, I am indeed blessed and highly favored.    Many cannot.   Comments and “likes” should never be the concern when we are aligned with God’s assignment for us.   He role models the nature of truly effective ministry, reaching one here, changing the life of ten there, and teaching twelve at a most intimate level.    So, having said that, here are the guidelines I use for how I interact on any social medium:

1. Make straight paths for your feet…   Romans 12:13 (Bullard living translation: Be clear in your communication)
2. Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without no moan shall see the Lord…Hebrews 13:?
3. Let brotherly love continue…Hebrews 13:1
4. The Lord is my helper, and I will fear not what man shall do unto me…Hebrews 13:6
5. …the fruit of our lips give thanks to His name…Hebrews 13:15
6. Making you perfect in every good work to do His will, working in you that which is well pleasing in His sight…Hebrews 13:21

 

As I stated before, by no stretch of the imagination would anyone call me an expert; I’m still learning so much about how to navigate these networks and how to put them to best use for my wants and needs.    These are simply my ramblings musings, and my own follow-up thoughts from my husband’s tweeting dilemma.   I am curious, though:  how do you use social media?

What I Learned During the Holidays

Fresh off a vacation in which computer time was extremely limited (how ’bout non-existent?), we find ourselves back at home where both laptops are awaiting repair.    Translation?  There are five people vying for the one computer that has access to the Internet.   To put it mildly, I’m learning just how plugged in my family is.   Of course, work takes precedence over all the other fun items, but even that becomes difficult when you have at least one child standing over you saying, “Are you almost finished?”   (Heavy sigh).

In case you’ve not had enough of goal writing, declarations, and reflections (LOL), please be sure to head over to Amy Bayliss and A Woman Inspired for their 31 Days of Online Ministry Event.    There are some great ladies committed to helping us all in the areas of blogging, praise, encouragement, prayer and parenting.    Some of my faves include intentional parenting with Karin at Mommy Matters, Lisa Boyd’s WordPress help (boy, do I need that one!), and 867-5309 Jenny’s (any 80’s fan will immediately appreciate the reference) tips on the use of social media.  

I have asked a question of several business women, especially other working/ home-educating moms, regarding the use of social media, and the implications to being a good steward of time: how are you using these tools to develop your business?   I got very few, if any, responses—hmmm.    One angel was kind enough to introduce me to Hootsuite, a tremendous help in being technologically savvy and present via these tools without becoming a slave to them. Jenny’s first post regarding the use of social media was with respect to Philippians 4:8.   I love this perspective as a starting point.

Karin’s thoughts on intentional parenting have been enlightening as well.  I loved her post on the daily blessing of the children.    What intrigued me most in visiting her blog this time around, however, was the post regarding what she learned in 2010.   I concur with her that 2010 was a year that I’d just as soon not have had, although I know that it was necessary for our growth.   It seemed at times that we were being torn apart at the very seams, and I had to often remind myself of a statement a pastor once made: the Lord will increase your faith by almost destroying it.   

With limited time, I won’t be able to pen all that I learned in 2010.    I thought instead to focus on what I learned in the last month/ during the holidays.    I learned that…

1) Knowing what you believe, and acting consistently upon what you believe, can cure a lot of frustration and angst.

2) I’m nowhere near as technologically savvy as I think I am.

3) The heart of a child, expressed in even the simplest form, can absolutely melt yours.

4) The secret to breakthrough is to worship the Father, especially when you don’t feel like it.

 5) I need to invest in a new camera.

 6) Dogs LOVE “old school” Christmas specials.

7) Having stated #5, the love of family radiates past how it is captured.